Story by Kelvin Kimanthi Mutune; Machakos, Kenya.
The Rich Kids of Kenyatta Road is a recount of what happens around the writer. He tries to bring out his and his friends’ experiences in a funny way. The series is set on an area called Kenyatta Road, along Thika Superhighway. Kenyatta Road has one of the wealthiest societies along the highway, hence the name of this series. As the writer interacts with his friends he picks up stuff that might be worthy of writing about and then with the help of some irony and exaggeration, “The Rich Kids of Kenyatta Road” is born.
Beware! Lest the dusty road and the forsaken-looking buildings along the road deceive you. Kenyatta Road, mostly known as K-Road, houses one of the most affluent societies along Thika Road. The value of the cars that grace this dusty strip of road can quadrupole the cars along tarmacked estates like the famous umoja. You’ll see a Fortuner and find it’s your friend behind the wheel and on close investigation you’ll find it was a hand-me-down from his millionaire dad. That’s how rich these peeps are.
When your dad is a millionaire, and your mom another millionaire and your older brother yet another millionaire, what do you become? You become a Rich Kid. Yes, and around here there are so many of them. Being a kid who’s not any way close to being called rich, I know a rich kid when I see one. They’ll dress simply (I said simply, not cheaply. You’ll see Prada somewhere and your nose will occasionally catch a Calvin Klein scent), not like those eastlando kids who dress like clowns, and they’ll walk as if the whole world rotates around how they walk, they will have original foreign accents (sorry eastlando fellas with your plastic accents) and most of all these rich kids will have attitude.
They can’t simply “punguza” their a-t-t because theirs is inborn. It was inculcated in them since birth. They woke up to find a silver platter on their hands, literally. They want nutella, a box of nutella is bought. Not like some of us who’d ask for peanut butter and would get hit with peanuts on our faces and orders to go roast them ourselves. Anyways, why would you not have attitude if all you ever wanted was given to you ten fold? You just clear your throat and a doctor is dragged from a surgical operation to come take a look at you. Even if it were me, I’d have attitude. These kids don’t know what lack is. They grew up believing in the existence of the tooth fairy and Santa. They even silently believe that elves do exist!
Woe unto you if you are a guy trying to get a rich kid to love you. These rich girls are a hard nut to crack I tell you. Take her to Debonair’s and to her it will be substandard. You’ll sweat off to pay the bill as she’s taking selfies hashtagging captions like #ThisDudeAaarrgghh, #BrokeAf, you get the drift? Wait until she takes you out, you’ll eat at a 5-star, a meal that you can’t even pronounce the name and the bill will make you choke on the sip of wine. Then she will not even twitch. Raise an eyebrow, naaahh! Why? Coz she’s a rich kid, from K-Road, with a millionaire dad and a chauffeur waiting for you guys downstairs. She’ll pick her Louis Vuitton purse, pull out another Louis Vuitton mini purse and inside it pull gold embedded credit card. By this time, your mouth will be wide agape. This will make your Debonair’s stunt seem like a skit and your heart will sink to depths unfathomable.
But bro, lemme give you a rich kid hack. They love the simple things. Walk her home in the evening, hold her hand at dusk and for heaven’s sake you guys even have a railway line running across your estate, let her balance herself on the rails and help her by holding her waist and she’ll automatically wrap her hands on your shoulders. If you want to impress her with money you’ll never win. Thank me later 😉
Thank you for stopping by.
Catch CHAPTER TWO next week only on ODP.